Once Upon a Time
by AshaRose
Summary: A collection of AU one-shot fairy tales told One Piece style.  There will be love, loss, romance, angst, humor, fun and more.  There will be some reoccurring pairings and some that might just pop up for one chapter.    Characters edited to show last chap
1. To Love a Beast

Disclaimer: One Piece is not mine. Fairy Tales are also not mine. I am merely a huge fan of the two.

Setting Note: This Story is AU. Why? Well, Why not? I figure if the anime can go AU for fun things like the Boss-Luffy stuff, I can go AU for fairy tales staring our favorite characters. ;)

**To Love a Beast**

The beautiful orange haired princess looked out over her mikan groves with a careful eye. Every day, the palace attendants were to prune her precious trees and bring her the ripest mikan for her dessert. If the mikan was not brought to her on time or was not in perfect condition, the attendant would be forced to pay a fine and have his salary docked. Already, Princess Nami had been forced to dock the pay of two separate attendants twice this week. Honestly, she couldn't see what was so hard about picking out a perfect mikan- not that the princess ever did any hard manual labor herself to know.

The princess preferred to spend her precious time indoors reading books of the sea and recreating sea charts from the books she read. Her hands were suited for fine work such as that, not for sheering trees or picking fruit.

In her deep russet gown, the princess paced the corridor. It was nearly five after six in the evening; her mikan was late. After adjusting the golden ruby-set tiara on her head, Nami turned to her chambermaid. "Robin," the princess said coldly, "What is the meaning of this? Why are my mikans late?"

"I can go find out if you wish, your highness," the maid bowed as she straightened the apron on her purple work shift.

"Ah! Never mind. That must be them now," the princess waved her hand to indicate the commotion on the other side of the door. But soon, words began floating through the door from the other side and the princess was left to wonder what _was_ going on.

"You can't go in there! That's the Princess's chamber!"

"If you wish to visit someone so _important_ you can't bring some measly little thing like _that_."

"The Princess will kill you for sure!"

"Kill _him_? She'll kill _us _if he gets through!"

"Hold him back men!"

By now, the princess had heard enough! She crossed the room in three giant strides and flung wide the door. On the other side of the door, there was a grotesque little man. In fact he was so little, that had it not been for his unusually elderly features, the princess would have called him a child. And yet the eyes set in that ancient wrinkly face were bright and clear as those of any child. The most remarkable thing about the strange creature, was the straw hat atop his head.

Glaring down at the funny little man, Nami raged, "What are you doing in my palace?"

At once, all of the guards shrank back in fear, but the little man just looked up with a happy smile. "I have come to ask the Princess for a place to stay for the night. I don't have much, but I can give you this," he held up a frail wrinkly hand that was holding a lopsided wrinkly mikan.

Being presented with such a disgusting mikan by such a vile creature as this could only be meant as an insult. Gritting her teeth, the Princess gathered the hem of her voluminous skirts in her hands, lifted them to reveal a bronze strappy heel and kicked the revolting mikan across the room. "What do I need your rotten mikan for when I have a beautiful field of my own."

"Come on. That's not nice," the strange man was saying. "My mikan is more beautiful than all of yours together for mine is all I have and is a gift from my heart."

The conversation was growing ever more irritating. "I don't need a gift from filth like you! Get OUT!" the Princess shrieked.

And then the funny little man was gone and in his place was a tall solid well-built man holding a golden mikan. There was no doubt it was the same man because he had the same mischievous ever-young eyes even though his face was smooth and beautiful. He pushed the old straw hat up on his head and said, "You should have taken my gift when it was offered. Now you will have to learn the hard way what it is to love and make friends. You will have two years. In that time you must come to truly love someone and earn their love in return. If you can achieve this task, then this Golden Mikan will belong to you. If you cannot do this, then no matter how hard you try you will never be able to reach it."

The Princess made a swipe for the mikan and immediately saw that his words were true. The moment she reached for it, the mikan pulled back from her. Having a greedy heart, the princess decided she needed to have the Golden Mikan. And she laughed at the easiness of the task before her. "Do you honestly think I will have a problem finding love? I am a princess. Men all over the world wish to marry me. I will simply hold a ball and invite every eligible male to attend. That Golden Mikan will be mine before the end of the week!"

"Did you think I'd make it that easy for you?" the Straw Hat man laughed. He gave the little mikan a push and it hovered in the air a good five feet above the Princess's head in the chamber where it was to remain until her task was complete. "Until the time that you can complete your task and earn the Golden Mikan, everyone who looks at you will see you for what you are on the inside. If you fail to acquire the mikan, you will remain this way forever."

"What is that supposed to mean?" the princess asked.

The man waved his hand in the direction of the mirror and the Princess Nami stepped up to look within. Where there should have been a beautiful princess beset by gold and rubies, there was nothing but a horribly ugly monster. Her skin was covered in dark orange scales- she didn't even have hair as the scales covered her entirety of her ridged head! Her hands were gnarled and ended in claws. The once round and energetic face was now hollow and pointed. Her lips had disappeared to leave a pointed beak-like jaw, and her teeth were no longer two perfect rows of pearly whites but instead multiple rows of crooked, needle sharp razors. As she opened her mouth to scream, she noticed her great forked tongue. She looked like some mutated reptile. The one features on the whole loathsome body that was even vaguely familiar were the amber eyes beset in the monster's hideous face.

Suddenly words were ringing through her head even though no one spoke.

_As a dragon greedily hoards it's treasure so do you, and so a dragon's form is what you take. Learn to love, and learn to trust; only then will this form break. _

She turned to scream at the Straw Hat man, but he had already disappeared. Driven half-mad in her grief and too embarrassed to be looked upon in this form, the princess fired every attendant, guard, maid, solider and worker in the palace. She resolved to live out the rest of her miserable existence alone in the castle.

~n~n~n~n~n~n~n~

It was a crisp autumn morning when the shipwright called his sons to his bedside. Before he could speak, a great cough rattled his wide chest. All three boys remained silent as they waited for their father to recover from the fit.

"Boys," the man began, "Things have gotten very unsuper lately. The Doctor says there is no hope of recovery if I stay here all winter. I must go to a super village in the south by the sea if there is any hope of my recovery." Behind him, the strange doctor nodded his furry head.

"Father, you can't go! What will we do without you? I think I've got the 'I'll-die-if-I-have-to-stay-without-father' disease," the youngest son said in a panic.

"Shut your shitty mouth!" the second son said aiming a kick at his brother, "If this is what father needs then we'll manage. We always do." He exhaled a drag from his cigarette seriously.

"How many times do I have to tell you keep your smoke away from Father when he's sick? It's hard enough for him to breathe already!" The oldest son smacked his blond brother in the head with the hilt of a sword. The blond turned to him with a death glare.

"Ow! Boys! Don't fight!" their father called from the bed before the cough seized him again. "It hurts my heart to see brothers act that way!" Then he wiped his eyes.

"Dad's crying again," the youngest son observed.

"Shut up!" Father called, "I'm not crying! Anyway, while I'm gone you boys are going to have to find some way to earn a living. There is barely enough money left to buy food for all of us since I haven't been able to build ships due to my health."

"We understand, Father," the second son assured the ill man. "I will go to town and become a chef to earn a good wage."

"You mean to flirt with the women," the eldest corrected.

"Say that to my face, Marimo!" shouted the second son.

"Father," the youngest asked, "I've gotten good at building, do you think I could get a job in town building weapons and doing repairs."

The father nodded his large cyan-haired head approvingly. "What will you do, Zoro?" the father asked the eldest.

Holding out a sword, the oldest said, "The villagers always need protection. I will put my blades for hire until your return."

Father nodded again proudly. "My boys! No! I'm not crying!" After wiping his face on the back of his large forearm, he spoke again. "I'm afraid we don't have enough money to pay Miss Robin again this week."

The three boys and the father all turned to look at the housekeeper who was standing in the corner of the room. She had started working for them a year and a half ago and though she was quiet, she had quickly become part of their small family. When she started with them, the merchant family had been much better off. The father's failing health in the last six months had really hurt their ship business. These last three weeks they hadn't even been able to pay their housekeeper. All four men secretly feared she would leave them, but they didn't know that she had grown just as attached to them as they had to her.

With a faint smile, Robin said in her soft voice as she crossed the room to stand by his bedside, "I keep telling you, Mr. Franky, that a place to sleep and food to eat is all the payment I need until times get better."

"And I keep telling you it's just Franky." Then the sickly man grabbed her small wrist in one large hand and clasped his other hand over top and said, "You really are too good to us Ms. Robin. I wish I could take you with me to the sea."

"Don't worry about it, Mr. Franky," the housekeeper said softly, "Someone has to make sure these boys don't get into any trouble while you are gone." Then she smiled lightly as he patted the back of her hand.

"Thank you, Nico Robin," he whispered, as his voice grew quiet with the effort of talking too much.

"Come now, boys," Robin called, "let's let your father rest now. He leaves in the morning and needs his strength." As Robin turned to follow the boys out, she noticed that her boss was still holding onto her hand. Giving his larger hand a reassuring squeeze, she said, "We really will be fine."

When the three boys and housekeeper exited the large sick man turned to the doctor and said, "When I get well and get my business back on track, I'm going to marry that woman!"

The strange doctor said nothing but kept his eyes on the door that the four people just exited.

~n~n~n~n~n~n~n~

In the morning Franky and the Doctor departed. It was a rather tearful goodbye for the father, but the sons assured their father that they would be strong. Once the shabby coach pulling their father disappeared from view, the sons decided it was time to set out for the village.

"One minute, Mr. Zoro," the housekeeper called.

"Hmm?" he quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Sorry to ask this of you when you mean to be on your way, but we need some firewood in the house. Would you mind?" she kept her head down when she asked even though she knew it wasn't expected of her.

"Sure thing," the eldest brother said setting to chop the wood.

As he chopped, his two younger excitable brothers started for the town. It didn't take Zoro long to finish and he set down his axe and headed down the path to the north.

"Not that way, Mr. Zoro," the housekeeper called.

"Huh?" Zoro said turning to his left to face the other street. "Why not?"

"There is nothing but trouble up there. The town is down the other path to the west," Robin explained. "Misters Sanji and Usopp headed down this path not an hour ago."

"Right. Thanks!" Zoro called as Robin headed back to the house.

Okay which way had she said to go? West? That must be this way to the right. Of course Zoro, with his poor sense of direction, had no way of knowing he was traveling north.

After walking for hours, Zoro was parched and a bit hungry. He'd finished his water canteen two hours ago. Just when he was cursing the town for being so far away, he stumbled into some sort of a garden. For a moment, he was stunned silent as he started at row after row of mikan trees. Even just one mikan would ease some of his hunger and thirst. But as he reached his hand for the nearest tree, he hesitated. The trees were well looked after; whoever owned them must care for them a lot. Well if they did care, they would surely understand. Grabbing a mikan, the young swordsman peeled and ate the sweet fruit. In his entire life, the swordsman had never eaten something so delicious as this one mikan. Instantly, he felt refreshed and was ready to move again, but was shocked to see a monster blocking his path.

The large scaly creature gave a frightening roar as it reared its claws at Zoro. The sun glinted off its orange hide giving it a strange blazing look and when it opened its jaws, several needle-sharp teeth looked ready to gobble Zoro up. Strange rags adorned the creature's body and Zoro found himself wondering if that marked it as a humanoid or if it were still just a beast.

"Be gone foul creature!" the man cried running a hand through his green hair as he jumped to his feet.

The creature hissed. "You dare to command me? In my own garden?" There was another roar as the creature slunk over to his side. "Do you realize you have just stolen from me? The penalty for thievery is death!" As the creatures shouted this, Zoro's eyes grew wide.

"I won't let you kill me, I have two brothers at home to protect. What sort of big brother would I be if I died so easily?" Zoro had been mocking the creature as he unsheathed his swords, and was surprised when the things regarded him with oddly human eyes.

After a long pause the creature said, "Very well. You will not die here today, but you will be my prisoner until I say otherwise."

Pushing himself up, Zoro said, "That still doesn't work for me, so I'll be leaving now." And he sheathed his swords and walked back the way he had come only to find a wall where there once had been a clear path. Looking up, he couldn't even see the top of the wall.

"It's an enchantment," the creature hissed behind Zoro. "The castle obeys my commands. It's how I get things like food. You won't be able to leave until I say so."

"Then I'll just have to convince you," the swordsman said drawing his three blades again and striking them across the creature's skin. But it didn't even leave a mark.

"There is no human blade that can cut dragon scales," the creature explained.

"Maybe not yet," Zoro said, "But one day I will sharpen my mind enough to cut you down and then I will leave."

The creature shrugged. "I don't really care what you do with your free time."

Zoro spent the next four days trying to escape, but every move he made was blocked by the mysterious castle. Walls grew out of no where, extended for further than possible, trees would grab and clutch at him, once the ground had even opened up. There was no way to leave the castle without the creature's permission. The next two days he spent in deep meditation. By the seventh day, he was forced to admit that he was going to need some food.

Water he'd found enough of as he went around, but food was a different matter. His pride prevented him from asking the creature directly- after all, it had said when it needed food, food appeared at the castle. There must be some trick to it; he'd observe the trick and get his own food. So that seventh day he watched the creature.

He followed the draconian over to an area of the grounds he'd never seen before. It disappeared into a shed and reappeared with some eggs. Then it climbed into a garden and dug up some onions. There were pigs, goats, and cows as well. So that must have been it. The castle provided the tools for what you needed.

The creature cooked a small breakfast and then disappeared. Zoro followed the same pattern and cooked up some eggs and onions. After a meal he was feeling much better about his situation and went in search of the creature again.

This time he found the creature in the mikan grove tending every mikan tree by hand. So this creature really did care about those trees- at least enough to diligently care for them. All that day he watched the creature tend the grove and eat another small meal of vegetables. As the creature went to make its dinner, Zoro had to interrupt.

"Another meal without meat?" he asked the being.

Looking up the creature said, "How am I supposed to get meat to eat?"

Zoro waved a hand around the yard at the numerous live stock. "Kill it."

The creature gave a scandalized look that seemed out of place on that monstrous face. "I've never... kill it? How could I?"

At this Zoro laughed, "You mean all those sharp teeth and claws and you've never killed anything."

The creature shook its strange head.

"You do eat meat though?" he asked.

"I haven't in a while, but I used to," it replied.

With a sigh, Zoro said, "Alright leave it to me."

And then he walked into the yard and picked a cow that would serve as dinner and brought it back to the kitchen to prepare. "You get some vegetables," Zoro commanded and watched the creature scurry off in the direction of the vegetable patch.

When the creature came back, Zoro instructed it how to cut the vegetables. "At least those claws are good for something!" Zoro remarked, "You know, you're not that great at being a monster."

He might have imagined it, but it seemed like the monster was embarrassed. After they ate, Zoro decided that despite the creature being monstrous, there wasn't really much to be afraid of. It was nice to know he wasn't living with a creature who wished to bite his head off, but it also meant that his swords would never be sharp enough to cut it down. He would never work up the resolve to cut down a creature too innocent to kill it's own dinner. There had to be another way to escape. And he'd find it with time.

As they ate the creature drummed its long claws on the table. "You've been sleeping outside?" it asked to which Zoro nodded. "Don't. It's going to storm tonight."

"It looks fine outside," Zoro remarked.

"Suit yourself then, but don't blame me when you drown," the creature snapped.

"Fine," Zoro quipped back, "Where should I sleep then? I haven't exactly been given a room."

This time, he was certain the creature blushed. "I'll show you to a room."

Zoro nodded, "Thanks."

Sure enough that evening it stormed and Zoro watched safely from the window of his room. He decided this creature wasn't so bad and he resolved to ignore its fierce appearance and treat it like a person- after all, it did have strangely human eyes.

The next evening after sharing dinner, the creature shifted awkwardly, looked up at Zoro and said, "After dinner, I always have a mikan." Was that a hint? Did the creature want him to go fetch one? But then the creature held out one clawed hand with a mikan in it. "Since you got the food to eat, you can have one too."

From the way the creature acted the first day and the way Zoro saw it carefully pruning its trees, he suspected that these mikans were particularly precious to the being. He accepted such a gift with grace, "Thank you."

The two ate their mikans in silence before retiring for the night. After that night the two fell into an easy pattern of life. And every night when they'd share their dinner, Zoro would entertain the creature with stories of his brothers and home life. The creature enjoyed these stories best and said that it must have been nice having brothers. And every night after the stories, the creature would produce two mikans for dessert. Every time he tasted one, Zoro thought it was the sweetest fruit he'd ever had.

One day, a couple weeks later, Zoro couldn't find the creature no matter where he looked. By evening, he was starting to get worried, but the creature emerged just before Zoro had the dinner ready.

"Where were you?" he asked curiously not trying to let his worry show through .

"I went for a walk," the creature said with a strange look.

But Zoro didn't give up the subject so easily, "For the entire day? And what's with that look?"

The creature shuffled back and forth on it's clawed feet and looked at the ground guiltily. "I went to see the brothers you always talk about," it said quietly.

"What? My brothers?" Zoro rounded on the creature and grabbed hold of its shoulders none to gently. "How were they? Are they doing well? Are they happy? Did they have enough food to eat?"

There were so many questions and the creature didn't quite know how to answer. "Well, they smiled a lot, the same way you do. I guess that means they are happy enough. They had some food, but it wasn't much." Zoro cursed under his breath and the creature look up. "What's wrong?"

Shaking his green-haired head he said quietly, "I'm their big brother! I shouldn't be here having plenty while they struggle to make ends meat. I should be helping them."

For some reason, the creature felt badly and wanted to help Zoro. It didn't want to let him leave, but maybe there was another way. "Zoro," it started, "The walk to your house isn't so far for me. If you prepare some of the castle's supplies, I can bring them to your brothers once a week."

Zoro grasped one of the creature's bony, clawed hands and said, "Would you really?" When the creature nodded he said, "Thank you!" and smiled.

The creature returned his grin with a strange toothy look of it's own. It was hideous really, but Zoro knew the creature meant to smile and was heartened. The next day, Zoro had a large basket of food prepared for his brothers and the creature left before sunrise.

Soon enough, the creature was delivering food every Monday. Zoro worried that when the snow set in, the deliveries would have to stop. But snow was no obstacle for the agile creature and the beast could still make the trip in a mere morning. All winter the creature and Zoro lived in harmony, and Zoro was secure in the knowledge that his family was provided for.

One day, when Zoro thought the creature was out in the garden, he went to get a bath. It was quite a shock to find that the bathhouse was in use this morning. Zoro usually showered at this time since he wouldn't be disturbed. Something must have happened to upset the creature's schedule. But that wasn't what Zoro was thinking about at the moment.

It was the first time that Zoro ever saw the creature without its customary rag coverings. He didn't mean to stare as the creature stood in the waist high pool splashing itself with water, but he couldn't help it. Without the coverings, Zoro was able to see the creature's figure. And it- no _she-_ was obviously female. From this distance, Zoro could see the heavy chest and the small waist before her hips and bottom slanted outward. It was an angular figure, but female all the same. And without the strange coverings, the creature looked more lithe and graceful. Zoro stood transfixed as if by a spell. It was still the same strange creature as always, but in the morning lit bathhouse, Zoro began to see her differently. He backed out of the bathroom quietly wondering how this strange creature came to be here. He got the feeling that the creature wouldn't say.

Now that he knew the creature was female, he couldn't understand how he had never seen it before. It hadn't taken him long to recognize the being's wit, knowledge of weather patterns, or love of mikans. He easily came to respect her strength of body and mind, But something as simple as gender had thrown Zoro for a loop. Watching her now, Zoro saw how evident it was. And he found himself becoming even more helpful to her, lifting heavy things and taking over when he could.

He'd even asked to help with the mikans and she reluctantly showed him how. It never snowed in the orange grove- another feature of the enchanted castle- and they spent many companionable mornings in the grove. The creature had even revealed that the reason that she loved mikans so much was because they were precious to her mother. When Zoro asked about her mother, the being described a purple haired woman- not some draconian monster. Had the creature been adopted by humans as a baby?

"What did she call you?" he asked suddenly.

"Huh?" the creature seemed startled.

"Your mother. She must have called you something, given you a name. What was it?" Until he realized the mother was human, he didn't know if the creature had a name. But now he was certain she did.

The creature scratched at her arm with her claw and answered, "Nami."

"Nami," Zoro smiled, "That's a nice name. Why have you never told me before?"

Nami shrugged her scaly shoulders, "I haven't had much need of it recently. I almost forgot it was mine."

"Well, Nami," Zoro said addressing her for the first time, "I think it's time for lunch don't you?"

And the rest of the winter he made sure to call her by her name whenever he could, though it was hard to stop thinking of her as the creature at first. Eventually the snow began to thaw and the birds began to return.

"Look, Nami," he said his fingers closing over the hard scales over her wrist as he stopped her and pointed to a tree up in the courtyard, "A nest. Spring is here."

Soon he let go of her wrist and became lost in thought. As spring set in, Zoro became more withdrawn. Eventually, the sullenness he exhibited had Nami worried.

Once all the snow had melted, about a month into spring, Nami asked him, "Zoro what has been on your mind lately?"

The question brought him back to the present. "Sorry. You see before I came here, my father was very ill. Another cold winter would have killed him, so he traveled south to spend the winter by the sea. If he survived, he was supposed to return in the spring. I can't help but wonder if he's on his way home."

Both Nami and Zoro grew very quiet. Zoro had stopped being her prisoner a long time ago and sometime that winter had become her friend. She couldn't deny that when she heard his story, her heart ached for him. Looking up with her large amber eyes, Nami said, "You should go."

"What?" Zoro asked looking at the woman beside him wondering if he'd heard her correctly. He hadn't even been trying to get away, he had started to accept this quiet life some time ago. He hadn't thought about leaving in months.

"I said you should go," Nami said again firmly. "Go home to your family. Wait for your father. Be there when he comes home."

Zoro smiled as her use of the word "when." Reaching a hand out to touch her claw, she asked. "Will you be okay here on your own?"

Forcing a smile, Nami said, "I was before you came wasn't I?"

"In a manner of speaking," Zoro countered. "But like I told you, you aren't a very good monster." After a moment he said, "Come with me."

"What?" Nami asked as her eyes grew wide and her features drawn; it was her turn to be confused.

"Come home with me. I can make sure you have enough food there and you won't be alone here." His eyes were sincere when he spoke and for a moment, Nami's awkward toothy smile even reached her eyes.

But the smile faded almost before it appeared and Nami shook her head. "No, I couldn't. I'm not that comfortable being around people."

"You're fine being around me," Zoro pointed out, "you'll be fine with my brothers."

Sadly, Nami looked down at the ground. Her two year time period to get the Golden Mikan was almost up and then this form would become permanent. There was no way she would go live among normal humans now. Shaking her head, she said, "No I belong here."

No matter how much he asked she wouldn't come with him. "Will you at least come see me?" Zoro asked.

She shrugged, "We'll see."

"That's not a no," he observed with a hopeful smile.

"It isn't a yes either," she answered curtly.

The following morning, they set out for Zoro's home. The trip would take longer with Zoro himself coming along, since they couldn't scurry through the trees as Nami usually did, but after a couple of hours, they were within sight of Zoro's home. "You won't get lost at that short a distance will you?" Nami joked.

Zoro laughed and ruffled the back of his hair. Then more seriously, he said, "I guess this is it, then."

"Yeah," Nami said trying not to betray her sadness.

Then in a moment of impulsiveness, Zoro grabbed her shoulders and crushed her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. The contact stunned Nami for a moment and she stood still for a few seconds before wrapping her arms around Zoro in return.

"Don't forget me, Nami," he whispered.

She shook her scaly head and clung to him for a few minutes. But eventually she had to let him go. "Good bye, Zoro," she whispered as he walked to his house to re-join his family.

~n~n~n~n~n~n~n~

His brothers were overjoyed to see him. They thought he had been killed in the woods last autumn. So when he came walking out of the wood as if no time had passed they clapped him on the back and embraced him, smacked him on the head and kicked him. Zoro laughed, it was good to be back home. At dinner they told Zoro all about their winter jobs and the strange food that would appear every week. It wasn't until that evening as they sat around the fireplace that his brothers asked Zoro where he had been.

With a strange smile, Zoro said cryptically, "I spent the winter in an enchanted castle with a monster who was also a girl."

Sanji kicked him. "If you didn't want to tell us you could have come up with a better lie than that!"

"Yeah!" Usopp commented. "That didn't even have the makings of a good lie."

"Probably spent it drinking booze!" complained the second brother.

Zoro shrugged and only Robin remained silent.

The following week, Father returned home. The reindeer-doctor was pulling a cart and Father was riding on top- well he wasn't exactly riding. The large man was standing atop the cart dancing and crying out, "Ow! Boys! Come see your Father! Not only did I get better, I. got. SUUUUUUUUPPPPPEEEEEEEERRRRRR!"

"Father!" the boys shouted and rushed out to meet his cart. It was a loud and noisy reunion and their housekeeper observed silently with a small smile. Their Father regaled them of tales of his travels. His recovery was quick and he'd been able to secure several good business deals in the southern sea. He returned not only with his health, but also with their good fortune. There were now slightly better off than they were before Father fell ill.

After greeting his sons, Franky walked confidently over to his housekeeper. "I have all the wages we hadn't been able to pay you. But more importantly, Nico Robin," And Franky dropped to a super pose on one knee. "Marry me!"

All three boys stood shocked and watched Robin for a reaction. A slow smile spread across her face and she said, "Of course."

Their father was quickly on his feet with the dainty woman in his arms spinning her around and gleefully shouting, "SUUUUUUUPPPPPEEERRR!" And then his lips were covering hers in a passionate kiss. Both Sanji and Usopp cheered, but Zoro watched on silently with a sharp pang in his chest. Not wanting to begrudge his father his happiness, Zoro decided to take a walk.

The wedding was set for midsummer and preparations began immediately. A tailor came over to fit the men for their suits, a baker was hired for the cake, Sanji insisted on cooking the food himself much to everyone's delight. And there was still the shipbuilding business to run. As busy as everything was, Zoro couldn't get the winter he'd spent at the castle out of his mind. He often found himself wondering how Nami was faring and whether she was getting enough food without him there to help her. He missed their conversations and there were still plenty of mysteries he had yet to find out about her.

It had been five weeks since his father returned and Zoro found himself spending his afternoon the same way he spent all his others since his return- sitting at the junction of the paths starting down the north bound road hoping for a glimpse of the strange creature he'd spent so much time with.

A voice behind him spoke back. "You should go back."

"What?" Zoro turned to face his future mother.

"You should go back to the castle, to her. It looks like you miss her," Robin said.

"So you believe my story then?" Zoro asked amused.

"Well as it turns out," Robin smiled, "I used to work at that very castle before I worked her and have seen your monster. All I can say is that if you really miss her as much as you do, you should go back." Having been there when the princess was cursed Robin figured he might be the one who could break that curse. As the late Queen was her friend, Robin bore no grudge against the misguided girl.

Looking at the older woman, Zoro smiled. "She said I'd probably get lost if I tried to find my way back."

This time Robin laughed, "Any other time I'd agree. But this time I am almost certain your heart knows the way to take you."

With that she turned and started back for the cottage.

"When should I go?" Zoro asked calling after her.

Turning around she cupped a hand around her mouth and said, "I thought you'd already left!"

Zoro waved with a grin and turned and headed down the northbound path.

~n~n~n~n~n~n~n~

Meanwhile, inside the castle, Nami was sitting with her bony chin resting on her scaly knees. She was staring listlessly out the window trying to gather up the strength to tend her mikans. She knew she really should, but she'd been so lethargic since Zoro left. She felt as if she couldn't do any of the things she used to.

Suddenly a voice spoke from behind her. "You're lot less spirited than I remember you being." Nami turned to stare at the Straw Hat man in his youthful incarnation. "When I sent you this task, I didn't think it would make you completely useless. Shi shi shi." The man laughed. "But you've been pretty good, I'm here to offer you the Golden Mikan."

Nami's eyes widened at his words as the man reached his hand up and that small bit of her salvation floated into it. Getting that Mikan would mean the return of her real body. Eyeing that Golden Mikan in his hand, she grew suddenly cautious. "I know you. With you it's never that easy. What do you want?"

"Ah!" he said pushing his hat up higher on his head and grinning, "good for you to figure it out. The Mikan comes at a price. If you take the Mikan, all paths to the castle will be closed off and the wood will grow wild around it. No one will ever be able to find it again and you'll never be able to leave. But that's fine since you like your solitary life."

"And if I don't take the Mikan?" Nami asked surprising the mischievous man.

"Then nothing changes. The roads stay open and you remain just as you are," the man said with a glimmer in his eye.

Nami hugged her knees tighter and looked away from the Straw Hat man. "Take your Mikan and go. I don't want it at that cost." There was no way she could isolate the castle, what if Zoro wanted to come back?

"Wah? You're sure?" the Straw Hat man asked incredulously with wide eyes.

Nodding sadly, Nami mumbled, "What good is a Golden Mikan when there's no one to share it with?"

With a knowing smirk, the man pushed his hat back on top of his head. "Alright. Suit yourself."

Nami didn't need to turn around to know the man and mikan were gone.

~n~n~n~n~n~n~n~

Despite what Robin had said Zoro still managed to get a little lost on his way to the castle. But after walking for four hours, he was certainly getting close. It was with great surprise that he tripped over a skinny pair of legs in his haste.

"Woah!" he called as he tumbled to the dirt road.

"Oh," the man said pushing his Straw Hat up on his head and exposing his playful eyes, "Sorry. I shouldn't sleep in the road anymore. Shi shi shi." The man stood and looked at Zoro. "But this is your lucky day! I've a great prize to offer you for your trouble!"

As Zoro righted himself, he looked at the two things clutched in the man's hands. In one hand there was a large sack of gold and in the other, there was a simple mikan of a golden hue.

The man began speaking again, "You get a choice. If you take the gold, you must take it back to your cottage and share it only with your family. The road you travel now will disappear."

"Disappear?" Zoro asked, lowering his eyebrows.

"Yes. The forest will grow wild anything in this forest will be lost forever. But you will be so rich that even you great-grandchildren will feel the effects. What are trees when compared to that?" the man said eyes glinting.

"I'll take the mikan," Zoro said confidently.

"You haven't even heard the conditions, yet!" the man taunted.

"And the conditions are?" prompted Zoro.

"You may take the mikan and go wherever you choose, but you will have to work hard to earn your living," the man finished and pushed his straw hat back over his eyes. "So which is it going to be?"

Without any hesitation, Zoro said, "The mikan."

With a grin like a Cheshire cat, the man held out the Golden Mikan and Zoro accepted it readily. "Thank you, sir!" Zoro called quite pleased. This beautiful gold Mikan was the perfect gift to bring to Nami for their reunion.

Putting the mikan away in his satchel, he ran the rest of the way to the castle.

~n~n~n~n~n~n~n~

"Nami!" a voice called from down below. She looked down into the courtyard and could hardly believe her eyes. Zoro was standing there in the middle of the yard calling her name. "NA-MI!" he shouted.

And she was on her feet running before she even had time to think about it. She didn't stop running until Zoro's strong arms surrounded her. "I missed you, Nami," he whispered to her.

"I missed you too!" she answered truthfully.

"Close your eyes," Zoro said softly, "and hold out your hands. I have a present for you."

He reached into his bag and pulled out the Mikan and set it in her outstretched hands. The change was instantaneous. Immediately the claws receded and the scales faded back into smooth creamy skin. Where bony ridges once stood out on her head, long lengths of orange hair now flowed down in gentle waves. The pointed features of her gaunt face filled in, leaving a sweet round face. When the scales over her eyes disappeared, long thick lashes sprouted a few shades darker than the deep auburn of her hair. The thin pointed mouth was replaced by a set of full pink luscious lips. The sharp angular lines of her body were replaced by delicate curves.

Zoro's breath caught in fear as he looked at this unfamiliar specimen of feminine splendor and he wondered what happened to _his _Nami. He took a few hesitant steps backward and wondered what was going on. Where was Nami?

Then the woman in from of him opened her eyes and he was shocked to see the same amber eyes that had always looked out through _his_ Nami's face. "What's wrong, Zoro? Why are you looking at me like that?"

There was no doubt about it; it was Nami's voice- only it was missing the rasping reptilian quality to which he'd become accustomed. Was _this_ his Nami? Tentatively he asked, "Nami?"

The expression she used was the same disbelieving expression she'd always use to tease him in this manner, "Of course. Who else would it be?"

Stealing his nerves and not believing what he was seeing, he reached his hands out to cup her hands and ask, "What happened to you?"

It was when his hands brushed against hers and she felt his fingertips ghosting not over thick scales but warm flesh that Nami looked down and noticed her hands for the first time. Her mouth fell open as she gasped at the sight of his hands covering her own human hands. Tears were streaming from her eyes as she looked down in disbelief at the Golden Mikan now sitting in her hands. "Zoro! You did it! You broke the curse!"

"Curse?" he asked lowering his eyebrows, clearly confused.

"The Golden Mikan. Where did you get it?" her eyes lit up and looked into his as she spoke.

Zoro blinked in confusion. "Some strange man in a straw hat. He tripped me and then offered me a choice between this mikan or immense riches."

Now it was Nami's turn to be confused. She had never told him the circumstances of her curse. Why would he choose a simple mikan over wealth? Zoro seemed to sense her question and offered, "The gold came with the condition that all the roads in the forest would close up and anything that lived in the forest would be lost forever. I would never chose a future without you in it." Nami's amber eyes came to meet his green ones once more and he asked, "You're really Nami? _My_ Nami?"

At the way he used the possessive with her name she couldn't help but smile. "Yes," she replied beaming up at him, "_Your_ Nami." Then she closed the distance between them and met his lips in a kiss that was sweeter than the ripest mikan. Zoro's arms wrapped around her and she wondered how she had ever survived without them supporting her. When they broke the kiss, Zoro said, "I came here to tell you, I love you and I need you to come back with me."

"I love you too, Zoro. And I don't care where I am, as long as it's with you," Nami whispered against his chest.

"You never did tell me what happened to you," Zoro pointed out.

Leaning against his chest Nami shook her head. "Oh, Zoro," she began, "I used to be such a fool." And she proceeded to tell him of her encounters with the Straw Hat man and what the solitude of living as a monster had shown her. Explaining the life lessons were tricky for her as she hated admitting who she used to be. "But I'm not that selfish stuck up person anymore," she insisted. "I've changed. I don't care what I am as long as I have you."

Zoro smiled glad that she had learned those lessons in enough time to be with him. He ran his hands through her orange hair and whispered, "Remind me if we ever see the Straw Hat Man again, to thank him."

Pulling back, Nami looked at Zoro in shock with her mouth slightly agape, "Thank him? Why?" She had spent the better part of the last two years hating the man who had turned her into that miserable creature.

But Zoro merely smiled gently at her and tucked a strand of orange hair behind her ear. "Because I doubt that self-centered princess at the beginning of your story would have looked twice at a merchant's son like me. And my life was never complete until you were in it. So without that strange man with the Straw Hat, I'd still be living an empty half-life."

His words touched her and Nami realized the truth behind them. Without that man, she would have never learned what it meant to be truly happy.

In the morning they left. Nami had gathered what clothing she had that wasn't extravagant and collected what she needed to make a small mikan grove of her own. Hand in hand they set out from the castle, neither one caring much to look back. The road lie ahead of them and their future was sweeter than any either had hoped to imagine.

When they finally arrived at Zoro's father's cottage, Nami was surprised to see her old chambermaid among those counted as Zoro's family. "So you found your monster who was really a girl?" Robin asked her eldest almost-son. "I see she is much improved over the girl who was really a monster." Zoro tightened his arm around his beloved before letting the younger woman run off to his soon-to-be mother to apologize profusely for all the times she had misused her.

"There is no need for that," the always-wise Robin said, "Your two years were more than enough punishment for one life time. If you are now a good enough woman to deserve my son's love then we can let our bygones lie. Forget the past between us. From now on you are my daughter as much as they are my sons."

Nami's smile was prolific as it had been quite some time since she had been part of an actual family. Her mother died just after her eight birthday, leaving her utterly alone. And though Nami didn't understand the relationship when she was a child her mother and her chambermaid had been extremely close when Nami was young. Nami had inherited the maid when her mother died and at first resented the older woman for living when her mother hadn't. Now, the familiar face was nostalgic to Nami and one she was glad to see again. "Alright, Mother," she said greeting the other woman with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Without need to specifically state the matter, everyone understood by the smiles on their faces that Zoro and Nami would be married soon as well.

On midsummer, when the lawman Brook came from the village to marry Franky and Robin, Zoro and Nami pulled him aside and asked him to perform rites for them as well. Neither needed an elaborate ceremony to celebrate their love- they were happy enough just being together. Zoro and his brothers built the cottage he and Nami would share and nearly a year later, Nami's first son was born just a month after Robin's only child- a daughter. Though they had to work hard for everything they had, the ever-growing family never went a day without feeling the warm happiness of love in their very full lives.

~n~n~n~n~n~n~n~

Author's note: I love fairy tales don't you? My goal with this is to feature each straw hat member in their own fairy tale. Although Zoro was heavily in this one, it was Nami's tale. I know exactly which tale will be Luffy's (it just happens to be my favorite fairy tale there is). But if you have a fairy tale you'd like to see done let me know and I will see what I can do. (bonus points for obscure tales!) Some characters (*cough*zoroandnami*cough*) might get multiple fairy tales. Lol.

The idea for this story came from my toddler. He was watching Beauty and the Beast and he keeps calling Belle "Nami" because he thinks all pretty women should be named "Nami." So the mind wandered and you get this. Instead of a one-shot it will be a collection because My Mystery Pants series is ending and I wanted something to replace it (new chapter is in the editing process yay!)

I tried to keep the narrative in fairy tale style. I may not do this for every episode. However, I think I'm going to be giving my stories a "happily ever after" since I'm working a dark fic at the same time and need the contrast in my life.

Alright let me know how you liked it! Please review! Hope you enjoyed!


	2. A Case of the Willies

Disclaimer: I don't own one piece.

Warnings: this installment references many gruesome or grotesque elements and borders on the macabre.

Note: I will change the "character" properties with each posting to reflect the pairing in the latest chapter. Also as it is AU ages are fudged a little bit. Last installment Franky was the father of Zoro, Sanji and Usopp. Etc. So some characters may seem even older than in cannon, but it's mostly to fill the particular role in the fairy tale.

**A Case of the Willies**

In a village surrounded by windmills, a large man lived with his two young grandsons. The elder of the two was a sharp dependable boy who could be counted on to pull his weight around the mill, but the younger son was a silly sort of boy who couldn't do much of anything. As he grew, the grandfather attempted to give the younger brother chores and responsibilities, but it was to no avail- messages were forgotten instantly, manual labor would go horribly awry, and the boy had no talent with letters or numbers so book keeping was out of the question.

"What am I going to do with you?" Grandfather Garp asked the younger son. "You need to be more like your brother Usopp! He can deliver messages and he can set himself to any handy work needed around the mill."

Luffy, the younger brother, pouted, "But that's not true! Usopp can't do everything. He won't deliver your messages too close to evening time since he's too scared to go by the graveyard at night!" It might have been one small fault, but being slighted, Luffy needed to point it out.

It was true. Though the older son was a practical sort of boy, even bringing up the graveyard in conversation was enough to make him shiver all over. "T-that's n-not fair Luffy! I t-take messages all the time! But going into a graveyard at night gives me the w-w-w-willies!"

"Oooooh!" Said Luffy with eyes as round as saucers, "What's the w-w-w-willies?"

"It's when your body shivers and shakes all over!" Usopp informed pointing a finger at his brother.

"Woah!" said Luffy. What terribly exciting feeling could it be that was so powerful it could make you shiver and shake all over? Luffy desperately wanted to find out! The only problem was that he'd been by the graveyard plenty of times at night, but he'd never run into something that made him feel this way. Giving a small defeated sigh, Luffy was abruptly pulled out of his fancy by a large fist pounding the back of his head.

"It's time for you to learn to be useful!" Garp shouted at his youngest grandson.

As Luffy rubbed the back of his shaggy black hair, he grinned and said, "You're right Gramps! I know if I learn how to shiver and shake like Usopp I'll be very useful!"

Garp slap himself in the forehead with a groan- there was no use refuting an idiot's logic. With an annoyed noise, Garp used his fist-of-love to knock some sense into the boy.

Later when Garp complained about the youngest drain on his income, the minister smiled and pushed his long blue hair back from his forehead.

"Ow! Let me take that boy for a few days! I know a SU-PER way to give him the willies he wants. Then he'll be so scared it'll turn him into a SU-PER worker."

And so that night, Garp collected his younger son and dropped him on the minister's doorstep. "The Minister will teach you how to shiver and shake and then you can put this foolish notion behind you and become a practical worker!"

"Awesome!" Luffy said for he really wanted to learn how to get the willies.

The minister explained to Luffy that it was his job to ring the bell up in the bell tower for mass. Luffy accepted this job eagerly hoping beyond hope that the job would give him the willies. The bells were located at the top of an old tower that was on the hill above the graveyard. Inside the tower there was little light and plenty of shadows. More than once the minister had been told that the belfry was too creepy and ringer after ringer quit. He'd use the atmosphere to scare the boy once and for all after he got used to the job.

"Ow! Straw Hat Boy!" the booming voice of the minister called from the hall, "Time to ring the bells!"

The fearless boy bounded off straight through the cemetery, up the steps that lead to the stone tower, to climb the old broken-down tower and ring the bell for the evening mass. On the way back to his small apartment, he dawdled in the graveyard thinking this might help his goal, but there was nothing there but bunches of flowers swaying lightly in the warm evening breeze.

On the third night of Luffy's new employment, the minister roused Luffy five minutes before midnight saying he needed to go ring the at this late hour! Then the minister left in a dash to execute his plan to spook the boy.

Laughing to himself, the minister thought, "Ow! I've got that Straw Hat Kid now! Once he sees me posing as a ghost in the graveyard, he will surly get the willies and his grandfather will make a generous donation to the church! It will be... SUUUUUUPER!"

Snickering, the minister dawned a white sheet and headed out to wait at the top of the stairs leading to the bell tower. He'd played this trick a couple of times on the bell ringers around all-saints day. It usually spooked them out of their skins.

With a giant yawn, Luffy rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stumbled half-awake and still in his pajamas out to the graveyard. He yawned again on the way, but straightened when he saw a cloaked white figure on the stair that did not belong. "Hey! Who's there?"

But the minister said nothing, he merely stood and let the sheet billow around him creepily.

"Be gone!" the youth commanded as he pointed at the figure. "You do not belong here and if you are trespassing I will throw you down the stairs!"

But surely the boy would not act so violently, the minister thought and said nothing. The boy must be putting on a ruse. If the Minister stood still as death long enough, the child would soon become afraid of the ghostly figure. The idea seemed sound to the minister, but Luffy had no mind for the uncanny; he saw not a ghost but an intruder.

"I'm warning you!" said Luffy, "this is your last chance. Say who you are or I will defend this yard by throwing you down the stairs, Trespasser!"

Again the minister assumed the boy was bluffing and held fast remaining silent.

So Luffy, being a man of his word, walked up to the large figure and pushed it down the stairs. It had been too startled to fight back. Satisfied that the Churchyard was now safe from the brigand, Luffy climbed the tower, rang the bell and returned to his bed.

In the morning, Luffy was woken by the minister's wife shaking his shoulders. "Have you seen my husband? Last night after he went to fetch you, he never returned! Do you have any idea where he could be? Do you think he was carried away and beaten by thieves in the night?"

Luffy liked the minister's wife because while she had a serious face, it would soften and become playful when she smiled. But she was not smiling right now. Her long raven hair fell about her worried face and she looked quite stricken.

"There was a figure last night on the stairs." Luffy mused, "I called out to it three times and he said nothing despite my warnings. I thought any figure who didn't want to say his name must be a vandal or a burglar so I pushed it down the stairs."

Indeed, when Luffy lead the Minister's wife through the yard, they found the Minister tangled up in his white sheet holding an obviously broken and painful leg.

Not an hour later, Garp was holding Luffy's shoulder in a grip too tight to be comfortable and gritting his teeth as the minister's wife chewed him out for his grandson's stupidity.

"I am sorry, Mrs. Robin. I will make sure the boy is thoroughly punished," affirmed Garp through his teeth.

When Garp had successfully dragged Luffy home, he boxed his ears and then reacquainted the boy with his fist-of-love. Then he handed the boy five thousand beli and told him to leave. "Don't you tell anyone who you are or where you came from! I am embarrassed to call you my grandson. From here out you will be on your own!"

Garp turned his back on the boy as Luffy eyed the money appreciatively and put it in his wallet. "Thanks Gramps!" he said sincerely. "I will go out and make my way in the world. And I'll be certain to learn what the willies are!"

Usopp shook his head sadly as his brother left- there was no hope for some people.

It was with a cheerful spirit that Luffy sped down the road singing about his quest to get the willies and just how much meat you could buy with five thousand beli. After he had walked most of the day, the town was a good distance behind him Luffy came upon a traveler in the road.

The tall blond man was smoking some tobacco and exhaled pointedly. "I'm sorry, did you just say you want to get the willies?" the man asked in a smooth voice. He had also heard the part about five thousand beli.

"Oh yes!" Luffy cried excitedly, "Do you know how to do it?"

"Sure kid," the man said slowly, "but if you get the willies, you are going to have to pay me."

"Oh?" asked Luffy tilting his head and scratching at his shaggy black hair, "How much?"

Tapping the goatee on his chin with one thin finger, the man said "That sort of thing will run you about five thousand beli!"

"Perfect!" shouted Luffy, "I have just enough."

The traveler raised one curly eyebrow expecting the boy to lament having to pay every cent he had or to try to bargain him down on the price. The kid really was a fool! "What's your name, kid?"

"Luffy," the youth piped brightly.

"Where do you come from?" the traveler was interested to know if the kid had any family around that was going to come beat him up if he swindled the kid.

Remembering that he wasn't supposed to say, Luffy looked to the left and whistled inconspicuously, "Don't remember."

"Hah," the man eyed the strange kid, "Alright then, Luffy. If you want to get the willies, come with me."

The traveler lead the kid to a place he had passed up the road where seven men had been hung in a tree- their stiff legs dangling just off the roadside. "Here, kid," the man started to say after exhaling more smoke, "here are seven men who just married the rope maker's daughters. Spend the night with them and you'll be sure to get the willies. I'll come back to ask you how it was in the morning."

With that the man began to walk up the road as the youth shouted, "Thanks sir! Hey, you never told me your name!" Learning a man's name was important for making friends.

The blond man turned around and cupped his hands around his mouth shouting, "Sanji."

"See you tomorrow, Sanji!" the shaggy haired boy called waving excitedly.

As the blond man left he shook his head. This would be the easiest five thousand beli he'd ever made.

After Sanji left, Luffy considered his strange companions- what a peculiar way to swing from a rope! Luffy enjoyed climbing and swinging as much any young boy did, but Luffy always swung with his hands. Using your neck like that just looked uncomfortable.

The sun had already started to go down, so Luffy made a small fire. He attempted to draw the seven men into a conversation, but the men were oddly silent. By dark, it had gotten quite chilly and Luffy scolded the seven for not having enough sense to stop their swinging to come get warm by the fire. With an annoyed sigh Luffy decided the polite thing to do was untie the men and bring them to the fire.

The first man was quite odd looking with long blue hair and a strangely colored nose-it actually appeared red! The second man had weird hair- or was it a hat- that went all around his head reminiscent of a lion's mane. Luffy continued untying the men and thought that they looked like a bunch of circus performers! And every one of them was as cold as ice.

"You lot are so quiet for it being your wedding night and all," Luffy said remembering Sanji's comment before. "Is being married such a terrible thing that you'd rather swing in a tree all night?"

But the men said nothing and even as Luffy watched, the first man's clothes caught fire. The blue-haired idiot didn't even attempt to put out the flames. Luffy swatted at the man's clothes and moved him back from the fire. "Help yourself man!" he shouted angrily, "you're going to burn!"

By the time the first man was safe, the second man was burning and then the third. Luffy rushed about rescuing the men from the fire. "What a bunch of stupid men you are!" shouted Luffy. "If you won't save yourselves from the fire, I'm going to hang you back up!"

And that is exactly what Luffy did. When Sanji came to collect his five thousand beli in the morning he was shocked to find Luffy sleeping comfortably under the seven dead men's feet. "Ah Sanji!" the youth said waking up, "these men were poor company. I took them down so they could warm themselves by the fire and these men let themselves catch fire! They didn't even try to put their fires out; all their clothing burned off! I had to hang them back up to keep them from burning. I don't know why you thought I could learn a thing from _them_!"

The blond traveler's face had gone so slack-jawed that the cigarette fell from his lips. "What sort of a shitty moron are you?" Sanji shouted as he left the man alone in the road.

With a confused shrug, Luffy set out again. It wasn't long before the boy had come to an inn and he was glad since he was very hungry. Almost before he had made it inside, Luffy shouted, "MEAT!"

The green haired innkeeper laughed at the kid's spirit. "Hey, Coby!" the man shouted to a shorter pink haired fellow bringing people food, "get that guy some meat and a sake!"

Luffy accepted both readily and devoured them in seconds. "More!" he shouted. The strange boy with the straw hat kept Coby running after more food all afternoon. The innkeeper was laughing as he watched the waiter running. It had been a long time since someone with that much spunk had come into his bar.

"You passing through or what kid?" the one-eyed innkeeper asked.

"Yeah!" Luffy said his mouth full of meat.

Too bad, the kid looked strong and it had been a while since he'd been able to test his swords against a good opponent. "Where you headed?" the man asked.

"To look for the willies!" was Luffy's excited answer and then began to tell the man his odd story.

The tale amused the innkeeper and he laughed harder than he had in months. "Well, Luffy," he said after learning the youth's name, "you know where you need to go if you really want to learn about the willies?"

"Master Zoro! No!" shouted Coby from the other end of the bar, "it's too dangerous! People go there and never come back!"

"Don't you have a floor to sweep or something?" the older man yelled. "Anyway," Zoro continued to Luffy, "There is a cursed castle up on a nearby hill. And the Queen has promised that anyone who can spend three nights in the castle and break the curse will get her daughter's hand in marriage! Plus all the riches in the castle- it's enough money that you'd never need work again."

"Well, I don't really care about money or marriage," said Luffy screwing his face up in concentration, "but if the castle is really that terrible, it might just teach me how to get the willies!"

"That's the spirit!" said Zoro, "I'll take you where you need to go!"

"Oh the bill," Luffy said as he reached for his wallet.

"No worries," the innkeeper laughed grinning like a shark, "It's on Coby!"

The pink haired boy shouted as Zoro and the youth left the bar.

Eventually, Zoro led Luffy to a castle where the Queen lived. "First you make your case to the Queen and she will decide whether to let you into the castle."

The Queen was a terrifying figure, tall and lean with curves that made lesser men faint- curves which she had no qualms about showing off! From her golden snake encrusted throne, she looked down on them pointing her finger, "What is it that brought two such manner of men into my beautiful castle?"

Zoro bowed low in the appropriate manner and pushed Luffy's head down to follow suit. "Your Highness Queen Hancock," Zoro started, "this man wants to take challenge of staying three days in the haunted castle."

The Queen Boa Hancock regarded Luffy and suddenly her demeanor changed, "Ah good. Then young man, if you last three nights in the castle you can have all the riches inside the castle and my hand in marriage."

A small elderly lady beside her spoke up, "Nyo! You mean your daughter's hand!"

The queen waved the lady off, "Same difference."

"It's NYOT!" the old lady shrieked.

The Queen looked distraught as she admitted it was her daughter whose hand was being offered and a blond girl in the corner blushed prettily. Then the Queen's royal coach was summoned and brought around by her coachman.

"Oh, a tanuki!" Luffy muttered eying the small creature in front of the coach, but suddenly the creature transformed into a rather large deer-like creature.

The blond girl leaned in close to Luffy and whispered, "Actually, he's a reindeer." After a pause, the princess added, "He's the only creature who will set hoof near the accursed castle."

Her whisper was warm against the soft flesh of his ear and Luffy found that the sensation of her so close to him made him a little warm-but not in a bad way. With a pretty smile she said, "Good luck!" but then she stepped back quickly and was once more overshadowed by her overbearing mother.

But Luffy shrugged off the encounter because he really had no interest in the power plays or dealings with women. All he truly cared about was that haunted old castle; perhaps now he would finally get the willies!

The dark castle was surrounded by an overgrown garden, which gave the entire place a wild, mysterious air. A permanent mist arose from other side of the garden giving Luffy the impression that the large stone walls felt cold. There was a dull scraping sound as the dense bushes scratched at the sides and ceiling of the carriage and Luffy thought about the poor tanuki pulling them. How scratched up that poor creature must have been!

All the while, the Queen talked about how the castle had been a burden on the family for the past three generations stemming back from when it had originally become cursed. Her great-grandfather had commissioned the building of a new castle, and it had been finished in her grandfather's day, but her father had commissioned expansions, which had only improved the new castle which was now much more regal than this crumbling hovel. Luffy paid her no mind aside from noticing her voice was too loud and that she talked too much with a self-important air. A glance at the princess suggested that the she felt the same way about her mother. Stifling a giggle, Luffy stared happily out the window at the haunted castle.

An hour later Luffy was left sitting alone in the frigid damp castle in the middle of an old bedchamber with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The remnants of his dinner- a pile of bones next to his knife on the cutting board- sat beside him on the floor. Heaving a hefty sigh, Luffy thumped his fists against the floor pouting. So far the old castle was nothing but boring! Well, if he wasn't going to get the willies, he might as well amuse himself. Pushing to his feet, he began to pace the halls looking for something to amuse himself.

He walked between the suits of armor puffing his chest out in an impersonation of their build; he made strange faces at the torn pictures adorning the walls; he got on his knees and mocked the stray cat that was sitting at the end of the hallway. But the cat only regarded him curiously and then flicked his tail and walked back into the chamber Luffy had exited earlier. Having nothing better to do, Luffy followed the creature.

The cat perched itself on an old table and began to lick it's black fur in the manner cats chose for grooming. But before Luffy could decide what to do about the cat, another one had pranced into the room and joined the other cat on the table. This second cat was slightly bigger and just as dark as the first. Now that it had a companion, the first cat stopped being so stuck up and decided to speak. "It took you long enough. Where are the others?"

The second cat flicked its tail importantly and hissed back, "Don't blame me. I'm the one who's here. It's _them_ what's late!" The feline took a moment to lick its large black paw before adding more calmly, "Do we do it now?"

A lesser man- or a smarter one- might have grown wary at the notion of talking cats, but Luffy just stared amused and wondered what sort of thing you should say if you meet a talking cat. After all, this was the most interesting thing that had happened all night! For their part, the cats ignored Luffy except to cast him cautious looks with their glowing green eyes.

Just as Luffy was about to inquire as to whether they caught many mice in the castle-it seemed polite enough conversation for a cat- a third feline entered the room, bigger and shabbier than the last two but still just as dark. This cat had a husky voice that seemed to quiver with an unnamed feline emotion as he spoke. "You numbskulls just going to sit here all night or you gonna do something useful?"

The second cat snapped to attention and began to make apologies, but the first merely flick his tail lazily and continued to lick his paw as if nothing of great importance had happened. The cat assessed: "We won't do anything until _she_ gets here."

Finally unable to withstand the mystery, Luffy called out, "Who is _she_?"

Three cats turned their eerie eyes on Luffy and looked with scorn upon the man. Not one of the three had deemed Luffy important enough to deign to talk to. The three merely stared at him with a glare that could freeze the very soul, but when Luffy seemed unaffected, the first cat rolled his eyes and went back to his paw licking.

Soon the cats were joined by a forth, fifth and sixth all bigger and meaner looking than the first three. Every one of them had asked if it was time yet and the First merely hissed they were waiting for _her_- whoever that was. All the cats pointedly ignored Luffy. By this time it was nearing one in the morning and Luffy was annoyed that the cats would not speak to him or leave so he could sleep. For if the talking cats wanted to talk to him, it would be interesting enough to stay awake for, but if they were not going to play with him, he would like to get some sleep already!

Six cats turned quickly to nine and if the seventh cat was as big as a panther, the ninth was as big as a horse. And every cat had the same black fur and poisonous green eyes. And all the cats continued to ignore Luffy. When the door opened again, Luffy turned ready to give the newest cat addition a piece of his mind, but instead he found himself facing not a cat but a woman. At her entrance the cats small enough to meow began to call out to their master, and the larger cats let out a series of roars and feral noises in greeting.

The orange haired woman smiled and held out her slender hand to quiet the creatures. Instantly they fell silent and watched her with their large eyes. "You did well to wait my pets," she called to them. Luffy was able to see a flash of blue marking on her arm when her sleeve moved as she crossed her arms. The cats began to purr with pleasure making the room itself seem to rumble.

"Oh, so they're your cats?" Luffy asked adjusting his straw hat, "You might teach them some manners! This room is mine for the night and yet they all entered without asking and didn't even say hello." Even if the cats would not speak to him, it seemed the woman would.

"They are clever creatures, aren't they?" The woman asked stroking the nearest cat's chin- the cat who was the size of a goat. Then she said more to the cat than to Luffy, "They know they aren't supposed to play with their food until I get here. Isn't that right?" The cat meowed its reply and licked at its master's hand.

"Food?" Luffy asked confused.

And the woman straightened up and said, "Yes food. Those of us who live here own a vast amount of wealth and we couldn't just let any mortal have it. So I trained my cats to make sure no one would steal our treasure. And it's just about time for their dinner now. Do you care for games?"

"What?" Luffy was taken aback by the sudden change in conversation and was beginning to get annoyed at the bossy manner the woman was using with him. "Who the hell are you and what does it matter if I like games?"

The woman chuckled and her long orange hair moved about her as she walked over to Luffy. Now that she was closer, Luffy could see the amber color of her eyes. "I am the Cat-Tamer Nami and we are going to play a game. And since you are an interesting man and not trembling like the rest of them usually do, I will let you pick if it is to be strategy," she waved to the first smallest set of three cats, "chance," then she waved at the middle set of three cats of medium build, "or strength," and finally she waved at the last three cats the smallest of which was the size of a panther.

It was a small lie on her part, but she always let the men pick and they always chose to face the smallest three cats. How hard could it be to outsmart some bunch of cats? But they always lost and they all became dinner for her felines. She eyed the newcomer icily and was shocked to hear him say, "Strength."

Though his opponent's eyes went wide, her cats were already on the move. The boy thought about grabbing his knife from dinner, but decided against such beasts he would hardly need it.

The three cats all pounced at once attempting to slay Luffy, but the youth merely grinned and jumped out of the way. Even with their razor claws and their sharp teeth, the beasts did not make Luffy tremble. He attacked with as much ease and grace as any cat could hope to possess and easily matched the cats' enormous strength. When the other cats realized that their brethren were about to be defeated, the chance-cats and the strategy-cats all jumped into the fray. But it was to no avail- no amount of luck or planning could aidthem now for the youth knew no fear and had no misconception that the cats would take his life.

It took a bit of time since there were so many cats, but Luffy disposed of them all punching them senseless and sending them flying out a window. When all the cats big and small had been sent flying, Luffy turned with at grin to face Nami. "Your cats were good but I was better," he said simply with a shrug.

Nami was so enraged that she whacked him atop his head before she fled from the room. She had no idea what such a fearsome man was doing in the castle, but she wouldn't stand one more minute in his presence!

Finally with all the cats and the woman gone, Luffy was able to enjoy some peace and quiet and get some sleep. Spying a bed in the room, Luffy made his way over and laid down. But the bed-outraged at having been used by someone it didn't accept at its master- twitched. The twitching did nothing to deter the youth so the bed shook still with no result.

Soon Luffy was clutching to the bed to keep from falling off as the bed bucked and kicked about the castle desperately trying to knock the stranger off. But Luffy didn't mind; this bed ride was quite exciting! Laughing as they went Luffy called out, "Yahoo!"

But Luffy soon realized he wasn't going to get much sleep this way, so he hopped down and the bed was as still and lifeless as ever. The second Luffy laid down again, the bed began its wild flight once more. Gripping the sheets like reins and riding the bed like a horse, Luffy steered it to the bedroom and jumped off. "Now you listen here!" he said thrusting a finger at the bed. "I'm giving you one night to get a hold of yourself. When I come back tomorrow, you'd better be a proper behaved bed because I am bringing an ax and if you don't behave as a bed, you'll learn to behave as firewood!"

The bed gave what could be taken as either a submissive or defiant shiver and, feeling the bed had been properly chastised, Luffy moved to lay down on the floor in front of the fire and finally slept albeit sadly- he was after all no closer to learning about the willies than he was before.

In the morning the Queen returned to fetch the boy and seeing him lying unconscious on the floor of the bedchamber, she began to lament. "What a waste of such a fine specimen of male youth! What a wonderful husband and lover such a man would have made!"

The old lady beside her piped up, "Nyo, for your daughter of course!"

The young princess said nothing.

At all the noise, Luffy woke up and stretched. "Ah! Is it morning? Then it's time to eat!"

All three women started and then smiled fondly at the youth. They conveyed him back to the Inn where he was to receive as much meat as he wanted courtesy of the Queen- the Inn had never seen such a prosperous day.

"...and then I defeated all her cats and she was so upset that she whacked me over the head! And when I tried to sleep the bed was difficult and wouldn't hold still!" Luffy laughed as he told his story to the innkeeper Zoro. The older man sat across the bar from him listening to his strange tale laughing as hard as the young man while Coby ran about the bar trying to handle the busy lunch crowd by himself.

"Do you think she was a ghost or a specter?" Zoro asked amused.

"Nah!" said Luffy lifting his straw hat to rub his head, "a ghost wouldn't hurt so much when it hit." This made Zoro laugh. "Maybe an imp!" Luffy added excitedly with a thoughtful face, "She did seem kinda impish."

Zoro gave him a stern, cross look and said, "Surly such a creature with such ferocious beasts made you shiver a little."

But Luffy only grinned widely between bites of meat and said with a very full mouth, "Nah. I don't know why everyone is so spooked about the castle. If it weren't for the cats, I would have been bored out of my mind!"

That night, Luffy was again transported to the castle and left with his dinner in the old dusty bedchamber. After polishing off his large helping of meat, Luffy looked around hopelessly- this night seemed like it was going to be as boring as the last. At this point, Luffy began to feel sorry for getting rid of all the cats, for as rude as they were they did provide some distraction while he waited for something to happen.

So Luffy again set about the hallways making fun of the armor suits and mocking the portraits. Eventually, it grew late and he returned to the bedchamber wondering if he should just give up and get some rest. He had remembered to ask for an ax to show the bed who was boss. Thinking to teach that bed a lesson, he walked to the fireplace to fetch his ax from his pack when a strange singing interrupted him.

"YOHOHOHO! YOHOHOHO! YOHOHOHO! YOHOHOHO!"

The strange melody seem to be descending the chimney and so Luffy stuck his head into firebox beneath the flu just in time to get a face full of soot. Luffy pulled away and wiped his eyes clear, and looked back to the fireplace.

Presently, half a man fell down the chimney and began using his arms to pull himself out. It was the top half of the man and Luffy noted that it was responsible for the singing as well. The creature was quite strange for it had remembered to put on its coat and cravat, but forgot to wear its own skin! No sooner had the half-skeleton moved from the firebox than a pair of legs-also devoid of skin-wearing black pants and dress shoes fell down as well.

The legs scurried out to re-join the body until the two pieces had come together to form one tall skeleton. Luffy thought it was quite funny nonsense to remember to wear you clothing but not you skin, but when the skeleton tipped its hat and said, "how do you do," Luffy bowed and said, "well, and you?"

Usually, Luffy wasn't so polite, but the skeleton-despite being a skeleton- had the air of a gentleman and Luffy spoke in the manner he was spoken to. As the skeleton brushed the soot from his suit, two skulls and nine leg bones clunked noisily down the chimney.

"Ah yes!" said the gentleman-skeleton, "Now we have enough pieces for a game of nine-pins."

"Oh!" exclaimed Luffy who very much liked games, "I know that one! But are these supposed to be our balls?" He picked up a skull as he asked and the skeleton regarded him curiously. "It won't roll very well like this will it."

Though the skeleton had no face to express displeasure, the emotion was evident in his voice as he said, "I suppose it won't."

"Here," Luffy said easily popping off the mandible and grabbing his knife. He whittled away at the skull until it was more or less round.

The skeleton watched through his blank eye sockets while sipping a cup of tea. "Amazing!" he said gently, "Can you do the other?"

"Of course!" Luffy said and fixed the other skull and the leg bones until they had a proper set for nine-pins.

All things considered, the two has a pleasant night playing the game and singing the skeleton's strange song. Luffy mentioned that the skeleton was much better company than the cats and the skeleton laughed, "YoHoHoHo! So you met Nami-san?"

"Yes! She's the one!" Luffy said. "She didn't seem so bad except that her cats wanted to eat me!"

"YoHoHoHo," the skeleton laughed, "She is a stubborn one. Over one hundred years haunting together and she still won't let me see her panties. Although, I have no eyes to see with!"

Luffy laughed as the skeleton cried out, "SKULL JOKE!"

"Do you have a name skeleton? Something like Bones? Or Joints?" Luffy asked as he tried to think of an appropriate name for a skeleton.

"Brook!" the skeleton said.

Pouting a moment, Luffy said, "That doesn't seem like a skeleton name."

"Well," the skeleton answered pouring another cup of tea, "that's because it was my name before I was a skeleton!"

"You used to not be a skeleton?" Luffy asked amazed. "What did you used to be?"

Sipping his tea, the skeleton laughed, "A man and a musician. When the castle was cursed, so was the court. I was the royal musician, the woman you met last night was the princess. The only ones who didn't become cursed were the king, queen and young prince as they had been away when the witch woman came."

Luffy, who had no mind for history lessons, said, "Right. So it's a mystery castle."

"Exactly," the skeleton confirmed as he picked up a few bones off the floor fashioning a xylophone and playing more music.

When the skeleton begged off after three in the morning, Luffy was tired but also very amused. Still, he had learned nothing of the willies again. How disappointing! Grabbing the ax, the youth crossed the room to the bed and laid the ax down on the night table. "Now, there won't be any trouble will there?"

The bed must have remembered the words from the evening before because it remained still and uneventful as any ordinary bed. Luffy fell asleep quickly and slept until dawn when he was awoken by the surprised mutterings of Queen, her advisor and the Princess. When the Queen prattled on and on Luffy met the Princess's eyes. The blond girl blushed and looked away shyly realizing that Luffy was more than half way done with the task that would promise her to him.

At this Luffy smiled and though that although the Queen was overbearing, the Princess seemed nice enough.

"Wait!" Coby said later at the bar as Luffy told his tale, "a skeleton shows up and instead of running away you play nine pins, drink tea and sing songs? What sort of crazy-person are you?"

Shaking his head Luffy informed Coby simply, "Running away would have been rude!" Then after a moment, Luffy's face grew sad. "I still have no idea what it is like to get the willies."

This had the Innkeeper guffawing and slapping his knee. "Sake for everyone! On the house!" he called out!

"Ah!" the bar patrons shouted in approval.

After a nice day eating and shouting with his now good friend Zoro, Luffy once again found himself alone in the dreary old castle. On this night he attempted to tease the spiders from the cobwebs in the corners, but the wiry old spiders weren't the least bit interested in him. "My last night in the castle," he whispered to the shadows on the wall. "Do you think I'll learn what it means to get the willies?"

As if to answer his question a hollow laugh echoed through the halls. Oh! Perhaps this would be it! Luffy rushed to the hall, but didn't see anyone laughing or even anything funny. Instead there was a procession of six large men all tattooed with crosses carrying a coffin.

"Oh!" Luffy said to the men, "that must be my poor cousin! He died just last week. Here bring his coffin into my chamber and let me have a look."

Since the castle was a strange and wondrous place, when the coffin was opened, Luffy did see the form of his cousin still in his Stetson, shorts and boots as he wore out on their adventures. "Ah, cousin!" Luffy lamented running his hand through the man's wild black hair, "how cold you are! Get out of this coffin and I shall warm you."

He had never paid much attention when the old man talked about things at home, but he remembered the one winter when his brother had fallen ill and Gramps made them share a bed to keep his brother warm. So Luffy pulled the corpse to the bed and laid down beside it and rubbed its arms vigorously.

And by some strange magic the corpse began to warm until it burned hotter than fire. Touching the man's skin burned Luffy's hand. The cousin sat up and said, "Someone must go in the coffin. If it's not me, then it must you!" And the two men began to fight until Luffy finally pushed his cousin back inside the coffin. As soon as his cousin was lain in the box, he stopped moving and suddenly looked unlike anyone Luffy had ever seen before. Shutting the lid, Luffy called the six attendants to bear away the body of the false-cousin. Shame on the corpse for taking the form of someone he cared for!

It was with an annoyed attitude that Luffy sat in the middle of the room at just past one in the morning. Due to the hour and his previous experience, he should have suspected the nightly games were far from over, but he was never one for studying patterns. So it was a great surprise when an old man and his horse-bird were suddenly filling up his room.

The man himself was strange enough, for Luffy didn't often meet old men with wizard-beards who wore capes and armor, but combined with the pink polka dot winged-horse that stood baying behind him made it the strangest thing Luffy had seen yet. "Stand," the old man commanded in a strong voice and Luffy stood without thinking. "You have threatened our very existence and shall be punished."

"Punished?" Luffy said aghast and realizing this was some sort of castle guardian he launched his complaints, "I only came here to learn what the devil willies were and your castle has done nothing but annoy me! I am starting to think you don't even know what the willies are!"

The knight was silent and then after a moment he mounted his bird-horse and whistled. "Follow me young man, and accept my feat of strength. Only then will you know what the willies are!"

Well, the old man was basically promising to show Luffy the willies so Luffy readily accepted. He followed the old man down a crooked set of stairs-the stone crumbling beneath his feet- and down a hall into some sort of small forge. Here in the room there were many tools as well as anvils and ovens that felt hot even though they didn't appear to be lit.

The knight walked up to the first anvil carrying an ax much like the one Luffy had brought with him the eve before. "Watch child and be amazed!" the old man said cryptically, "For I may look weak, but there is strength yet in these bones enough for twenty men! With one motion I will cleave this anvil in twain. After seeing this you can decide whether or not to accept my physical challenge. If you do not accept, I will split you in half like the anvil; if you accept and you lose, then I will split you apart like the anvil."

Here the man fell silent so Luffy prodded, "And if I accept and win?"

"No one wins against me in a feat of strength!" the bearded man boasted confidently.

"Oh?" Luffy asked with a finger digging in his nose, "then I accept."

"You haven't even seen it yet!" called the old man as his horse whinnied his objection.

But Luffy just laughed, "It makes no difference."

So the old man approached the anvil, lifted the ax and brought it down upon the anvil cutting the dense iron cleanly in two halves.

"Easy!" shouted Luffy grabbing the ax and heading to the next anvil. "I will do the next one!"

Even the men who had accepted Gan Fall's challenge in the past had never been stupid enough to claim the ability to cut the anvil- most didn't even challenge him merely accepted their death after seeing him do it- so he was very interested in the youth who strode confidently to the next anvil.

Luffy raised the ax and the old man leaned in close to watch, Luffy brought the ax down and clove the anvil down past it's middle, and Luffy failed to slice cleanly through the anvil and so the ax and the long white beard of the old man that had fallen in the way when he leaned in became properly struck in the anvil. The youth wasn't much of a strategist, but he was exceptionally lucky. And so the two men fought as they agreed, but Luffy easily outmatched his opponent whose beard was caught in the anvile.

"Let me free and I will tell you where the treasure is!" the old man called fearing for his life for the first time in ages.

"How do I know that you won't pull more tricks if I let you go?" Luffy asked- instinct rather than intellect told him to be skeptical.

The old man was covered in sweat and his horse-bird pranced nervously near by. "Because I am the final guardian of the castle and I submit to you! The curse will end tonight and so you shall reap the rewards! The castle shall no longer be haunted by death and specters! Though we fought you readily, you have freed all our poor trapped souls. This castle is yours now!"

As the man spoke, Luffy felt the powerful magic washing over the castle and he decided to trust the man's words. Freeing the ax took some time, but the deed was done and as promised the man took Luffy to the treasure room. In the room there were three large piles of gold that stacked nearly to the ceiling. Pointing the stacks out to Luffy, the old man said, "One for the Queen, one for the poor and one for you." Then the old man bowed and disappeared. Once more the now wealthy youth returned to the old bedchamber to retire for the night.

When the Queen's party arrived in the morning, they were surprised to find the garden trimmed and populated by small furry rabbits and fast curious squirrels. Two robins sang a greeting to the morning on a branch just to the left of the door while a few other birds collected bits of twigs to build nests. Though the evening before, the Queen had been certain the old castle was practically crumbling, the stone walls now looked strong and splendid. As they walked through the castle to Luffy's chamber, the halls seemed brighter and the air inside the castle lighter. A sweet smell even permeated the once dank and dark air within the castle.

It was as if they had entered an entirely different castle all together- had Luffy not been there facedown in a pillow, they would have thought they'd come to the wrong palace.

Margaret was the first to speak. "You did it!" she said brightly.

And then the Queen took over in her usual overbearing mode, "Yes, Luffy you have nobly broken the curse that had haunted my forefathers' castle for generations! As promised for you there will be wealth, property, servants and my hand in marriage!"

"Nyo! Your daughter's hand!" reminded the elder to which the Queen acquiesced.

Luffy laughed. "That's fine. But before that: MEAT!" he cheered. He only just remembered to tell the Queen about the treasures before he left brining up the Queen and the poor's share and leaving his share in the treasure vault since this was now his castle.

When they loaded up the wagon with treasure, the reindeer said, "We may need to hook up another coach with horses to pull all that treasure. I daresay they will come nearer the place now."

"You can talk?" Luffy shouted surprised.

"Of course! I wouldn't have been the royal doctor if I couldn't speak," he informed going back to the small form Luffy took for a tanuki. "When the curse happened I was struck dumb. But I knew I could best serve by bringing those who would attempt to break the curse to the castle. Now that it's broken I'd love to take up being a doctor again!"

The women were too stunned to speak, but Luffy who had seen much stranger things these last few nights said, "Cool! Mr. Tanuki I will have you for a doctor in my castle if you want!"

The small reindeer bounced excitedly but said, "Ah! Asshole, offering me employment won't make me happy!" But despite his initial brush-off he readily accepted the position with the addendum that, "It's Chopper not Mr. Tanuki!"

The Queen found her voice once more as the shock wore off and she rode with Luffy to the Inn to begin planning their nuptials- er... her daughter's nuptials.

Over the next two months Luffy was very busy learning how to run a castle and learning how to be a bridegroom. They taught him all there was to know about being connected to the royal family. For Luffy the decision making was not so hard because he had a fair heart and strong sense of right and wrong. It was a good trait as it would be his job to settle commoner disputes that arose in the surrounding towns. And yet with all the new things they taught him, they could not teach him how to get the willies.

Often Luffy would return to the Inn to lament his fate to Zoro. And the green-haired man tried telling him it wasn't so bad, that at least he had gotten a princess to marry in the process. Luffy would push his hat down over his eyes and grumble with pink cheeks that he'd much rather get the willies. Sensing the younger man's inexperience, Zoro made sure Luffy heard plenty of his patrons' raunchier tales so Luffy would have something to anticipate. And sure enough, Luffy stopped looking at his wedding day with such miserable feelings.

A week or so before the wedding, Luffy was spending time with Zoro hearing the things that awaited him after his wedding, when the door opened and a woman walked into the bar. She sat beside Luffy and tossed her long orange hair and eyed the barkeep. "Give me something hard, I don't care what," she said leaning over the bar just enough to give the Innkeeper an eyeful.

He laughed at her suggestive tone even as he fixed her drink. Luffy looked at the woman sideways and said, "Hey aren't you..."

But she cut him off and said, "You must be mistaken. I've never seen you before in my life." Then she winked at him and he was certain she was the cat-lady from the castle.

Zoro handed the lady a drink and she smiled prettily and said, "I also need a place to stay for the night."

"Well, you came to the right place," he said with a smirk that he'd never given Luffy when Luffy rented a room.

Later when the barkeep was out of earshot, the woman leaned toward Luffy an whispered, "Thanks for breaking that curse. We were all caught in it and have been in that dreary place fighting for some time now. The spell made us act the way we did-we're not bad people. The others wanted me to let you know. No hard feeling, eh?"

"Others?" Luffy asked blinking but then remembered the knight and the skeleton and assumed she meant those. He gave a curt nod. Outside of the haunted castle, he saw no reason not to trust her.

The knight he saw a couple days later and the skeleton the day following. Though neither spoke to him, he could tell by their looks they were grateful to no longer be stuck in that miserable castle- that once miserable castle that now belonged to Luffy.

The castle was staffed and ready within the two months and the wedding was to be held there. Since Luffy had no family to speak of, Zoro was to stand for him as his best man. The Queen objected at first but didn't truly have it in her power to deny Luffy anything.

On the wedding day, Luffy stared into the pretty face of his bride as the priest asked if he took Princess Margaret for his wife. He did of course and it was easier to do looking into her sweet face. When the time came to kiss her, Luffy closed his eyes pressed his lips gently to hers. As far as first kisses went it was pretty good for a man who had never desired to kiss a lady before and it made Luffy wonder what that evening would be like.

Not one of Zoro's stories had prepared him for the enjoyment he found that night with his princess, nor did they prepare him for the way his heart leapt when she looked at him and smiled before pressing her lips to his.

Soon Luffy found himself filled with so many new and exciting feelings, that for a time his new marital bliss put all thoughts of the willies to the back of his mind. But before long, Luffy's quest came back to him and he began to wonder what he did wrong that he had failed so miserably. Here he was with a house, a wife, a job, responsibilities and wealth-everything his grandfather wanted for him- and yet he couldn't obtain the one thing he wanted for himself.

Luffy signed over his morning breakfast and Margaret put her hand over his in a concerned fashion. They had been married less than a month and Margaret was sad to think their honeymoon might be ending so quickly.

"What is it Luffy?" Margaret asked- her soft sweet voice a welcome contrast from the one her mother had always used. "Do I not make you happy?"

Pulled from his daze at the sound of her voice, Luffy looked at her and smiled kindly. "No! You make me very happy, Margaret!" To emphasize this fact, he pulled her toward him and presses a gentle kiss to her lips. "I'm happy. It's just that..."

He trailed off, but Margaret reached up and fingered the hair at the nape of his neck, little habit she had fallen into since their wedding, and Luffy felt her encouragement. With a sigh he told her his plight of leaving his grandfather's house and not being able to get the willies. He told her of all the strange adventures he had in the meantime and all his failed attempts. Luffy even told her that he'd come to have so much but couldn't help feel a failure since he didn't achieve the one thing he wanted. There was a small miserable pout on his face as he finished his tale and Margaret's heart went out to the man she had come to care for deeply.

Before Margaret spoke, she considered her words carefully not wanting to get it wrong. "Well," she started, "I'm glad you haven't gotten the willies yet because if you had, you would have surly run from the castle and we wouldn't be here now." Their marriage was still new, but Margaret was already certain life without Luffy would be a strange, empty half-life.

"That's true," Luffy said brightening. He had come to regard Margaret very fondly and wouldn't wish her out of his life _even_ if it meant getting the willies. Letting his hand fall to her knee, he said with a smile, "I never thought of it like that."

Feeling her heart flutter, Margaret smiled and tried to hide her blush behind her short blond hair. "As for getting the willies, don't despair. You have plenty of time left and I am certain a man like you can do anything he sets his mind to-even get the willies." Luffy knew he was lucky to have such a supportive wife and he resolved no to lose hope at least for her sake.

That evening, Margaret went for a walk after dinner for she had a special task that she alone could perform. There was a small stream around the back of the castle and Margaret went to visit it.

Despite Luffy's melancholy mood earlier, their lovemaking was just as sweet and sincere as it always was. Fingers tangled in his hair, Margaret watched as he fell asleep with his straw hat resting on the night table beside him. For her plan to work, Margaret waited until Luffy was in a deep sleep.

As a girl in the other castle, Margaret had often sat and listened to the servant's children play. Sometimes she hear stories about adventures, other times, she hear about the sillier antics of children. The Princess herself had never played a prank on anyone before, but if her husband could do all sorts of extraordinary feats surly she could perform one ordinary task. Reaching for the bucket hidden beneath the bed Margaret raised it high, steeled her nerves and dumped the icy water full of minnows all over the sleeping form of her husband.

The icy water instantly woke the Prince and his eyes were wide with shock while his breath came in shallow pants. The many minnows flipped and flopped against his bare skin and the surprising sensation startled the boy until he was gasping and shaking all over. When at last the fish stilled and Luffy could sit up and regain his breath, he fixed his wife with such a look as she had never expected to see directed at her. She didn't know whether to cower in fear or laugh in amusement, so she froze in place uncertainly.

After a few deep breaths Luffy all but shouted, "Margaret, you wicked, clever girl!" And at that the Princess released a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. Luffy laughed and continued, "You have given me every thing I ever wanted! I am certain now I know what it feels like to have the willies!"

The Princess was happy to help and kissed him passionately even though he was cold and cover in fish. When they broke apart, Luffy's smile was wider than Margaret had ever seen it and he said, "You must really love me to go to such extremes just to make me happy!"

At this notion, the Princess blushed. She had always understood that princesses did not marry for love, but she had begun to fancy that the feelings she'd developed for Luffy ran along those lines.

But Luffy jumped off the bed to his feet and pulled Margaret with him. He just continued to laugh happily. "Don't be embarrassed. I love you too! You were the only person who could give me what I wanted!"

This had Margaret laughing too and soon the young couple embraced while they laughed stealing kisses every now and again. From that point their happiness knew no bounds. Luffy himself lived a very full and happy life for while he did get to feel the thrill of shivering and shaking with the willies he had never learned to be afraid.

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><p>Author's note: This was Luffy's tale and I felt this story was just perfect for Luffy. :) It is my all-time favorite fairy tale. There is less romance with this tale than other, but I did play it up a bit at the end but in every version I've read the two are happy together at the end even if their marriage was arranged. I did want Ace to be Luffy's brother in the story, but it wouldn't work. Ace afraid of the graveyard at night? Yeah right! It had to be Usopp.<p>

It took a little longer than expected to get this one up because my little Monkey (toddler) has been a little needier than usual this week. But now I'm sitting on several pieces that need editing/posting and I'm working on it. In addition, I've begun work on my newest story of my own creation (gasp. Not a fan fic. It's been a log long time for me). So I have been spending a bit of time with that too).

Who should get the next fairy tale? Robin? Sanji? Franky? I will get to them all.


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